Anime Insanity!
by Kiko Tomodachi
Summary: Just a crazy author-talks-to-and-manipulates-characters fic. Read & review please! ^^
1. Introductions and Discoveries

Author: Hmm

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Pokemon, Digimon, Card Captor Sakura, or Gundam Wing. Did you ever really think I did?

Author's Note: I wrote this one night while I was very very bored. Beware of random craziness (but then again, what else are you reading a humor fic for? ^^) My favorite part is the Clow Card scene. I won't say any more about it because it'll give it away. I really like that part, tho. ^^ You'll see. 

PS. Beware Ash, Davis and Wufei bashing. 

Anime Insanity! Part 1

Introductions and Discoveries

Author: Hmm.... what fun can I have with character manipulation this time? *Laughs insanely* *thinks* GOT IT!!!

__

It was a fairly normal day in Pokemon land. Ash was being an idiot as usual. He was actually attempting to capture a vaguely Pikachu shaped cloud by throwing a pokeball at the sky. Misty was staring at Ash being an idiot. Brock was staring at Officer Jenny who was staring at Ask being an idiot. Team Rocket was using this opportunity to steal Pikachu while Ash was being an idiot. 

Jessie: This is too easy! He's so preoccupied with being an idiot, he won't even notice we're there!

James: Pikachu will be ours!

Pikachu heard them talking and ran toward them. He was, after all, sick of Ash being an idiot. 

Meowth: I don't believe it! Pikachu is WILLINGLY joining us!!

Pikachu: Pika! Pikapi pika pi chu chupi pika!!!!!! 

Jessie: *looks confused* ...huh?

Meowth: I always have to explain everything to you! *scratches Jessie*

Jessie: MY FACE!!!!!! 

James: *snicker*

Jessie: What you think this is FUNNY!?

James: Actually... hahaha... no... hahaha.... but... I'm .... ha... laughing.. haha... anyway.... hahahahahahahah... it's not..ha... funny... at all!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Author: Of COURSE it's not funny, James!!!

Everyone in unison (except Ash who was still throwing pokeballs at the sky): WHO IS THAT!?

Author: I am the omnipotent one who holds all power!!!!! You are al under my power! 

Officer Jenny: Oh no! Don't tell me. We're in a FANFICTION, aren't we?

Author: Yep!

Misty: So are you the reason why Ash is attempting to capture a cloud?

Author: *blink blink* Actually, no. I have no idea why Ash is randomly throwing pokeballs in the air.

Ash: Because there's a huge white Pikachu up there! I have to capture it!

Author + everybody: *sweatdrop*

Author: Well, anyway...

James: Isn't somebody going to try to keep us from getting Pikachu like they always do?

Misty: I don't really care. *shrugs*

Officer Jenny: Go ahead. I'm off duty. 

Brock: *stares* Ooofficeeer Jennnnnnyyyyyyy......

Jenny: *whacks Brock* STOP!

Brock: *continues to stare* Jeeeeeeennnnnnnyyyyyy......

Jenny: *sends Brock flying* I SAID STOP IT!!!!!!!

Jessie: Well, since nobody cares.... I guess we'll be taking Pikachu now.

Everybody(except Ash): Go right ahead. 

__

And so Team Rocket left with Pikachu. Misty and Jenny went back to staring at Ash. Ash had now resorted to TALKING to the "Pokemon" in the sky. 

Ash: Come down from there!!! I KNOW you can hear me! Get down here NOW!!!!!!

Author: *sweatdrop* Well, this is getting boring.... hmm... AHA!

Misty: Aha? That doesn't sound good for us.

Author: You don't know anything, do you? I'm being NICE! I haven't forced you to do anything weird yet!

Misty: What are you gonna do to me? Huh?

Author: Hmm.... maybe something like this....

__

Misty looks at Ash and becomes completely dazed. She runs over to him and flings her arms around him. 

Misty: Ash, I love you!!!

Author: Ok, point proven.

Misty: *comes out of dazed state and jumps away from Ash as fast as possible* NEVER MAKE ME DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Author: Don't question my power and I'll think about leaving you alone.

__

Officer Jenny disappears into a hole in the ground.

Misty: Huh? What?

Author: That happens to any character I can't think of anything to do with. 

Misty: Oh... I see.

Author: Well, I'm bored. Oh yeah, back to "AHA!"

Misty: Oh yeah...

__

A hole opens in the ground and several people come out of it. The scene now includes one small cute Clow guardian, one insane Chinese gundam pilot, and five bewildered digidestined. 

Davis: What? Where am I? I was just sitting and trying to figure out how to wiggle my ears and then I was suddenly... here! 

Kari: Davis, you are such an idiot!!! How can you not know how to wiggle your ears!!! *wiggle ears* See?

Davis: *to self, out loud* Kari called me an idiot.... SHE DOESN"T LIKE ME!!!!!!!! 

Kari: Did you really think I did?

Davis: I was hoping....

Kari: Well too bad!!!!! WHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Kari: Hey! That's not like me!!!

Author: As a general rule, I don't leave people in character.

Kari: Oh...

Wufei: I don't have to listen to that weakling!!!! I bet he wouldn't even dare to mess with me!

Author: Ahem... *cough* ...That would be SHE, thank you very much. 

Wufei: A WOMAN! Well that's even worse. 

Author: Grrrr... now you're making me mad!

Misty: Oh, that's bad. Believe me. I know.

Author: *grins* Now what torture will befall Wufei?...... hmm...... 

Kero: I'm getting bored! I wanna be in the story!!!!!

Author: You will be. And I would punish you for that outburst, but you are just too cute. 

Kero: Now that's the kind of thing I like to hear!

Author: Anyway, back to Wufei...

__

Wufei is suddenly surrounded by mounds and mounds of candy. He proceeds to eat all of it and gets completely sugar high. 

Wufei: *singing* Oops! I did it again...

Author: Ack!!!!! NO NOT THAT SONG!!!!!!!

TK: Yes, please! Spare us!!!

__

Wufei: *singing* It's been one week since you looked at me...

Author: That's much better.

TK: It would be better if he didn't sing at all....

Author: Don't argue with me. *glares at TK*

TK: EEP! Ok..... yeah, One Week is perfectly fine.... heh..heh..... *looks scared*

__

Wufei finishes singing One Week and proceeds to walk over toward Ash.

Wufei: Hey! What are you doing?

Ash: I'm trying to capture that big Pikachu up there. *points to cloud in sky*

Wufei: Where? I don't see it!

Ash: Right THERE!!!! *wind blows* Hey, wait! It's gone!!!!!! WAIT!!!!! Now there's a Lapras up there!!!!!! *starts throwing pokeballs again*

Wufei: Can I do that too???

Ash: Uh... sure. *hands Wufei some pokeballs* 

Wufei throws a pokeball in the air and it comes down on his head. He then turns into a blob of orange light and get sucked into the pokeball!!!

Ash: Wow! He was a pokemon?!?!? *picks up pokeball* Wow, my very own..... what was he called anyway?

Author: Wufei.

Ash: Well, then .... MY VERY OWN WUFEI!!!!!!! *does insane bizarre victory dance* Hey, where did Pikachu go? 

Misty: Team Rocket took him.

Ash: AND YOU LET THEM TAKE PIKACHU?!?!?!?!?!?!

Misty: Why do I care?

Ash: BECAUSE.....because.....I don't know, but you shouldn't have let them take Pikachu!!!!!

Misty: Well, I couldn't anyway because the author has supreme power! 

Ash: The...author? We're in a fanfic?

Misty: You didn't KNOW that? You idiot! *whacks Ash on the head with a frying pan*

Ash: *collapses*

Cody: So this is a fanfic... That would explain a lot. 

Yolei: Yeah that would explain how that guy got sucked into a ball. 

Author: That was fun, wasn't it?

Cody: Well, I'm glad it wasn't me.

Author: I wouldn't do that to you. Maybe Davis, though...

Davis: *on knees begging* No please not me please please don't do that to me PLEASE!!!

Author: OK, enough! I won't put you in a pokeball!!! Sheesh!

Davis: Thank you!!!!!

Kero: So am I going to be in the story? 

Author: Yeah. *evil smile*

__

A small (and very cute) yellow creature walked in front of the now revived Ash. No it wasn't Pikachu, it was Kero!

Ash: Is that a pokemon? Well, I guess it is 'cuz it's not human.... *throws pokeball*

Kero: Ow! That hurt! How dare you throw things at the powerful guardian of the clow book!!!!!

Ash: Clow... book?

Suddenly Sakura appears. 

Kero: Sakura! I need your help! I think this is a clow card!!!

Sakura turns her key into the wand and whacks Ash on the head.

Sakura: Return to your true form!

Ash immediately changes shape into one of the Clow cards and floats into Sakura's hand. She reads it.

Sakura: The Stupid? I thought I had all the cards. 

Kero: Stupid is so dumb that he doesn't even stay in the right TV series, so you really did have all of them that were in our universe. 

Sakura: Oh...

Sakura: Hey! Who are all these people?

Misty and the digidestined introduce themselves. 

Sakura: So let me get this straight... you all have things called digimon? *digidestined nod* And you have things called pokemon? *Misty nods* That's interesting.......

Cody: Like turning people into cards is normal!!!!

Sakura: *sweatdrop* Actually, he was a card in the first place and then he went into human form and then I changed him back to a card...

Davis: You lost me.... could you go back to the part where you said you name?

Sakura: Oh forget it.

Author: Davis really is an idiot....

Davis: Who says I'm an idiot!!!!

Author: I do! And you are!!!

Yolei: She's right you know....

Davis: Grrr.....

TK: Would anyone mind if we go back to the story?

Kari: Yeah, I'm getting bored.

Author: Yeah, I'm in a Davis-torturing mood...

Davis: You aren't going to turn me into something, are you?

Author: Oh no, wouldn't dream of it! *snicker* You'll see...

__

Kari: TK, do you remember when we said we cared for each other?

TK: Yeah....

Kari: What happened to that?

TK: Well, there was Davis of course..... 

Kari: And? 

TK: And.... uh I don't know. What exactly did you mean then anyway?

Kari: I meant I love you, silly!

Davis: NO!!!!!

Author: Wahahahahaha!!!!!! But geez that was cheezy!!! *whacks self on head really hard* OOOH look at all the pretty stars......... *recovers* Oh yeah, story. Right. 

__

TK: Good, that's what I meant, too. *leans over and kisses Kari*

Davis: *In state of shock* Ka... Ka...ri.....and.......uhg....*faints*

Kari just sat and looked surprised. TK was grinning from ear to ear. 

Author: I figured you'd like that....

TK: *blushes* Ah... well... that is......

Author: Well, now may be a good time to conclude this insanity for today! 

Yolei: You can't quit now!!!!

Author: Why not?

Yolei: Uh.... because!

Author: .....riiiiiiight............ Well, as I was saying, bye for now. More later! (Maybe)


	2. Kero's Not-so-Great Adventure

Disclaimer: You must be crazy to think I actually own all this stuff! However, I DO own Bob (aka Ishmael Telemachus Nobody).

Author's note: Writing the dub Sailor Moon names just about killed me! But I had to keep in tradition and use dub names for everybody. Also, I apologize for screwing up Mina so much. She's actually my favorite of the inner scouts. The only things I really meant to insult were Tuxedo Mask, DBZ, and Tenchi Muyo dubbing flaws. And there is no story behind Bob. He was just a spontaneous random creation of mine. His full name just came out of the fact that a friend of mine keeps saying that Telemachus and Ishmael are such cool names. I think that's all I wanted to say. Sorry for taking so long to get this written. I need to be in a certain mood to write it well. ^^ On with the fic!!!

Anime Insanity! Part 2

Kero's Not-so-Great Adventure

aka An Overview of (older) Cartoon Network Shows 

Author: Welcome back to my story of weirdness!!!!

__

As the scene begins we see Misty and Sakura staring at the clow card, The Stupid, and chatting back and forth. Yolei and Cody are examining pokeballs. Davis is staring at Kari with a weird dazed expression on his face, COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that she is sitting with TK. For some unknown reason Kero is sitting on TK's head. 

TK: Hey! Get off my head! You'll wrinkle my hat!!!!!

*Sweatdrops to everyone*

Davis: Geez, TI! You care way too much about that hat!!!

TK: It's TK and I LIKE MY HAT!!!!!!!!

Kari: Would you guys just stop it?

TK and Davis: grrrr... 

Misty: *looking at The Stupid card* I never would have guessed that he wasn't a real human.... Of course that would explain how it was possible for him to be as idiotic as he was.

Sakura: Yeah. Actually he looks kinda cool as a card. 

Misty: *sweatdrop* Just never turn him back to human, okay?

Sakura: *nods*

Cody: What do you think makes this thing work?

Yolei: *with puzzled look at pokeball* I have no idea....

Kero left his postion on TK's head and floated around for a few minutes. 

Kero: I'm leaving.

__

He had decided to try to go back to his own universe. Of course nobody really pays attention to him because they are all too involved in doing whatever pointless thing they are doing. So Kero floats away from everybody else and comes across a very little person (about 2 inches tall). 

__

Little person: My name is Ishmael Telemachus Nobody, but you can just call me Bob. I'll give you a doughnut if you test out my portal for me. 

Of course Kero is a bit suspicious, but........

Kero: *thinking* I guess it could lead back to my universe..... but it could lead to some bizarre place where I will have to wear weird clothes and fight strange creatures... actually, that sounds interesting! *end thinking* *now he's talking* Ok! I'll do it! 

As soon as the words come out of his mouth, Ishmael Telemachus Nobody, or should I say Bob, attaches a doughnut onto the end of Kero's tail (over the fluff) and shoves him through the portal. Kero is surrounded by lots and lots of little swirly lights before he can see again on the other side. 

Kero: Why am I going to some weird place?

Author: 'Cuz I said so! *glare*

Kero: *cowers* Oh OK...heh heh heh...

Author: As I was writing....

__

The swirly lights clear to reveal five girls in sailor outfits fighting a strange creature. There are also two cats watching.

Kero: Well, there's that strange creature, now where are the weird .... *looks at himself* ....clothes? What the heck am I wearing!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

Yes, Kero is now wearing a bright yellow Sailor Scout uniform! 

Kero: Now THAT'S going a bit too far!!!!!

Author: Punishment for almost arguing with me before. Believe me, it could get worse. But I'll go easy on you this time because you're cute. 

Kero: Eh... thanks....I think.

__

Serena: Huh? What is that?

Amy: *pulls out mini-computer* I'll have to anylyze this... for now nobody get near it. It might be dangerous.......

Mina: *about a foot away from Kero* Oh he's so cute! I think he's even cuter than Artemis!!!

Artemis: HEY!!!

Kero: *grinning* I know I'm cool-looking!

Mina: *jumps back* He talked!!!!

Kero: Don't look so surprised. I am Cerberos, the guardian of the Clow book! Now give me some proper respect!

Lita: Well, I guess we know who he is now...

Serena: What's a Clow book? Am I missing something here?! 

Mina: I think we're all missing something...

Amy: According to my calculations, he's one of us. 

Serena: Another sailor scout? But he's an animal!!!

Kero: You might want to do something about that monster you were fighting...

Serena: Oh yeah... MOON TIARA MAGIC!!!

Her tiara hits the monster and turns it into a big pile of dust. 

Kero: *sweatdrop* You all came here when that was all it took?

Suddenly Tuxedo Mask appears. 

Tuxedo Mask: Sailor Moon! ...... Huh? There's nothing to throw a rose at today. OK, nevermind. 

... and then he leaves. 

All the sailor scouts transform back to their normal selves.

Serena: *starry-eyed* Tuxedo Mask....

Lita: For once, I'm not going to say he looks like my old boyfriend... snap out of it, Serena! .....Serena?..... *waves her hand in front of Serena's face* Earth to Serena...

Serena: He's soooo cute......

Lita: It's a lost cause...

Kero: So how do I get out of here?

Mina: You're such a cute little thing! You can just stay with me! 

Artemis: *starting to get jealous* Mina! What about me?

Mina: Of course you can still stay with me Artemis, but Cerberos is cuter!!!

Artemis: *sweatdrop* ...........

Mina grabs Kero and hugs him and which point Kero decides to get away as soon as she lets go. Well, Mina puts him down and, of course, Kero runs. Very very far away. He soon comes across Ishmael Tele.... Bob again. And this time Bob says...

Bob: I'll take that doughnut off your tail if you'll go though my new portal. 

Kero: Doughnut? *looks at tail* Oh yeah, I forgot. Well I guess anywhere is better than here. Sure! 

He runs through the portal before Bob (I said it right this time!) can take the doughnut. 

Bob: Hey, you still have the doughnut! Oh well... 

When Kero can see clearly again, he discovers two guys with spiky hair growling at eachother. 

Goku: You can't beat me, Vegeta!

Kero: Um... GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!

As if on cue, Bob shows up again. He doesn't even have to say anything before Kero runs through the portal. More swirly lights and all that. You know. Anyway, this time he sees six girls and a guy just sitting around. Well actually, the blue-haired and purple-haired girl are arguing while all the others stare. 

Ayeka: Ryoko! How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn't drink so much tea! 

Ryoko: *looking a bit dazed and otherwise intoxicated* I can drink tea anytime I want, isn't that right, Tenchi? *wraps her arm around his neck* 

Kero: Tea? I could swear she's drunk...

Tenchi: Ryoko.....

Ryoko: What? You love me, don't you Tenchi!

Ayeka: Ryoko! You make me so mad!!! Tenchi is mine! *grabs Tenchi's arm*

Ryoko: I don't see how he can be yours if he loves me!

Tenchi: Would you two just stop?!

The two rivals don't listen and attempt to pull Tenchi in two different directions. Poor guy. 

Kero, of course, had been watching all this and very quickly flew over, bit both Ryoko and Ayeka on the hand and flew away again, leaving Ryoko and Ayeka trying to figure out what happened and Tenchi trying to regain his breath. Once again, Kero runs into Bob, literally. 

Bob: Ow! I wish you wouldn't do that! You're bigger than me!!!!!!

Kero: Sorry, I was trying to get away from some maniacs. Although I'm pretty sure one of them is drunk on "tea". 

Bob: Oh yeah. I forgot to warn you about that. In this particular universe, they call sake tea. 

Kero: Oh. Well that would explain a lot. *looks around* Don't you have a portal for me this time?

Bob: Sorry, I don't have a portal right now. Some little furry brown animal ran through it first. But I might be able to make another one. 

Kero: Please do!!!

Bob dissappears behind a bush and comes back a couple minutes later with another portal. 

Kero: How do you make them that fast?

Bob: I'll never give any information about my large bottomless sack!

Kero: What large bottomless sack?

Bob: I just SAID I wouldn't tell you anything about it! Just go through the portal!

Bob once again shoves Kero into the portal and he reappears in a new place. Wait! This time it's somewhere he's been before! He finally made it back to the original fanfic world!!!!!! But something was different... There was a brown fuzzy mix of a cat and a rabbit wandering around.

Kero: *thinking* That must be the "brown fuzzy animal"....

Author: Yeah, her name is Ryo-ohki. But back to the story...

Kero: I'm back! Did you miss me? 

Sakura: Oh, hi Kero? You were gone? I didn't notice... 

Kero: *diheartened* .............. Nobody ever notices me here.... 

__

Author: Awww..... poor Kero. *hugs Kero* I notice you! I just wrote a whole chapter about you!!!

Kero: Yeah! That's right! I'm still the powerful guardian of the Clow book, Cerberos! 

Author: *sweatdrop* Just don't get too arrogant...

Kero: Well, I don't want anyone else to take my place as the center of attention, so end of chapter! 

Author: I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN DO THAT!!!!!! By the way, you still have doughnut on your tail...

Kero: Oh yeah! *gobbles doughnut* You were going to end it anyway.

Author: Yeah, actually I was. Just don't do that again. Now this is the real end of the chapter. 


End file.
